当发现生活前所未有的具体，具体到每一个钟点都被安排妥当时，就没有时间没有心思去酝酿我的博客哦。and since my parents read my blog several weeks ago, they ordered me to quit blogging and to abandon the habit of exposing my everyday life to others, to them, this doesn’t make sense, so I obey.

This is not a perfect summer, so many things happened already and I still have no clue about where I’m heading for in the next phase. Which options do I have? and which one will be most promising? in the long-term, which kind of life is the best for me? while hearing others’ stories, an increasingly mixed feeling grow in me. if only we can know what is the best for all of us.

Yes, what has done cannot be undone; once the decision is made, just go all out and make it happen, strong determination is needed, sometimes. I don’t know if I sound harsh, or indifferent, or say, “doggy”, I really have no time to figure that out. I screw it up, I always screw things up, in a way that seems to naturally happen, and actually it is. I have to thank everyone for putting up with me, my changeableness, and thx for all the company and consoling when asked, thx for still having faith in me when I look rather disappointing. thx for being understanding and not blame me. When occupied, I just choose to ignore, which is pretty selfish. I used to be very devoting to one thing or another, turning blind to the rest which I should have cared for. I know not why it is always so, but I guess start from now my mind is getting more sophisticated, so that I will probably give a well-rounded consideration next time. I won’t rush, or idealize anything. I must make it clear, what is my priority, what shall I focus on? What implications will this brings? I won’t do things that I cannot afford, I will grow up and be responsible for all. I know I cannot miss it again, I know I’m far away from being considerate enough. I’ll try. Thx for all the friends’ support, sincerely. and I need you to tell me that everything is fine and that there’s a way for everyone of us.